Mom guilt is a psychological phenomenon experienced by many new mothers. It is characterized by an intense and pervasive feeling of inadequacy and self-blame. In short, it’s a deep feeling of not being a good enough mom. Drunk mom guilt is the same phenomenon compounded by the depressant effects of alcohol. The overconsumption of booze brings about deep feelings of shame, regret, and remorse, especially when children are involved. These feelings are a multifaceted combination of societal pressures, parental responsibilities, and one's own idea of what being a “perfect” mother looks like.
Provoking Factors
Every mom’s trigger for drunk mom guilt is different. However they all derive from a similar source. Most often it is the cognitive dissonance between one’s actions and their perceived archetype of what a responsible mother should look like. If a new mom overindulges in alcohol, it creates a psychological conflict between what they are doing and what they think they should be doing. This internal struggle is only amplified by the cultural expectations of flawless parenting and their expectations of themselves.
Unpacking the Emotional Fallout
Drunk mom guilt is more than just a fleeting feeling of shame and remorse. It is a soul-crushingly heavy weight that leads to heightened levels of anxiety, depression, and deep seated inadequacy. It can also lead to a cycle of increasing alcohol abuse. Worse yet, drunk mom guilt can have negative effects on the relationship between mother and child. Worried about her ability to properly mother and overcome with guilt, mom’s can struggle with the ability to meaningfully connect with their child out of fear.
Recognizing the pervasive existence of drunk mom guilt is the first step towards healing. You can’t work on what you don’t know exists. Drunk mom guilt is a real thing and can be treated with professional counseling, support groups, and open, honest conversations about the realities and struggles of being a new mom. Creating and participating in communities of new mothers who are non-judgemental, supportive and can help each other overcome these negative feelings is crucial to healing.
It is important to remember that healing is not a linear process. It requires patience, self-compassion and support. Speak with your partner about how you’re feeling. If you feel your drinking habits are unhealthy or bordering on alcoholic, consider seeking out help from behavioral health professionals. Creating an environment of support instead of stigma is how we create a path for moms to overcome drunk mom guilt and create healthier relationships with themselves and their families.
Drunk mom guilt is an emotional burden that many new mothers cope with silently. Talking openly about this struggle, its triggers, impact, and how to treat it is imperative to healing. Experiencing drunk mom guilt is not an indictment of your actions. If you feel like you are struggling with alcohol, help is available.
Call Owl’s Nest Recovery today to talk with our clinical team to see if treatment is the right choice for you. They can also provide community resources and help you navigate toward healing and restoration.